Mostly Humor
*
ACCORDING TO OUR DOCTORS, SURGEONS, EVEN READERS' DIGEST MAGAZINE.
Laughter IS the best medicine...
FEELING SICK OR DOWN?
JUST TICKLE YOUR FUNNY BONE!
LAUGH AND MAKE ALL
YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY! And now to help you, is "Email Wit and Humor"
-
a huge collection (over 10 Years) of jokes, wit and humor...
_HI JAMES,_
_"HOW DID YOU FIND SOME OF THESE. HYSTERICAL. I\'M ABOUT ONE-THIRD
OF THE WAY THROUGH YOUR JOKE BOOK AND I AM HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME
CONTROLLING MY HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER AND THE PAIN IN MY SIDE FROM
LAUGHING SO MUCH. IT\'S WELL WORTH THE PRICE. KEEP US LAUGHING_ - MORE
PLEASE!!!!!"
_-- TOMAS R._
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR
_instead of getting free jokes off of the internet._
NUMBER 10
The delivery of your ebook is automatic and immediate. Free online
joke sites are famous for viruses and spyware. We don't send you
anything except what you ordered and free products that accompany your
purchase including _MONEY, POWER, AND SEX,_ and The _11-Minute Speed
Reading Program,_ so you can switch to this in case your boss walks
into your office.
NUMBER 9
You'll find that most joke sites cut and paste the same old jokes
and leave the errors in until they aren't funny and you feel weird
about reading something that isn't even spelled right. Our jokes are
great. EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [1] starts out funny and gets funnier the
more you read.
NUMBER 8
_No getting of jokes that have >>>> from friends who forward
everything from pride to prejudice, all in the name of humor. >>>> It
isn't funny to try to filter out >>>> all the time. Here's how bad it
can look:_
>>>>WHAT
>>>>DID THE
>>>>ELEFANT SAY
>>>>TO THE
>>>>CROKODIL
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [2] _has been professionally created by major
artists and editors, and is easy to read. It's been made in a special
protected ebook format that is made especially for ebook readers._
NUMBER 7
The Free Joke lists will publish almost anything to meet their
deadlines. Think about that, when you must meet deadlines daily, often
you'll find trash, insults and prejudice and call them jokes. We never
do that to you..
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [3] has over1,000 PAGES of _political,
Microsoft, men/women, religion, children's and other jokes._ Jokes you
can be proud to tell your friends when they feel down. Yes, laughter
is great medicine. And we give you lots of pharmaceutical quality
jokes to help cure any situation or illness.
NUMBER 6
We've added great color, graphics, sound (oh yes) , clip art and
animations to make the jokes livelier and funnier, even audio files
for more entertainment. You'll find our jokes and our layout as
something you'll be proud to give your friends as a gift.
Although EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [4] is generally meant for an adult
audience, it will not be considered offensive to be read by teenagers,
even children. You won't find anything, gross, disgusting, racist,
sexist or demeaning to anyone, except blondes. And those are
hysterical!
Click Here To DOWNLOAD
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR INSTANTLY [5]
PLUS ....
AND GET MONEY, POWER, AND SEX
_a hysterical live lecture by Dr. Jay Polmar_
AND THE 11-MINUTE SPEED READING PROGRAM
_by Speedread.org as special free gifts if you buy all 4 Parts of
Email Wit and Humor_
Perfect for a PC and MAC also
NUMBER 5.
Online joke lists are put together by people you don't know, with
lots of advertising, and spyware pop-up ads and annoying banners. They
also, often, place photos for an online porn site on the same
computer. Your email address is being sent to thousands of porn sites.
And your Is that what you want your email address to be exposed to?
How about you family if they get on your computer.
Every joke and story in EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [6] has been received by
James Siew, 10 year online joke collecting expert, and now publisher.
He's filtered out the offensive and un-funny stuff and given you jokes
to make you smile, laugh, and entertain others.
NUMBER 4
Joke lists only deliver... jokes
(and usually not good ones either - and generally make you wait
agonisingly foreach joke to load up!)
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [7] gives you:
Hysterical Jokes, Words of Inspiration, Words of Wisdom, Joke
Contest Result, and a lot more. JOKES that you can read any time you
want to over and over and share with friends.
NUMBER 3.
With EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR, [8] you can read a few jokes every day, or
spend several hours reading from start to finish. You can carry them
around in your laptop. You can read a new joke a day (twice on Sunday
and holidays)AND STILL NOT FINISH THEM ALL IN A WHOLE YEAR!!!
And The BEST Reason For Buying
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [9]
Instead Of Getting Free Jokes From The \'net.
It's the perfect gift, with over $100 worth of bonus books and
savings, --- and a perfect gift for all your friends, for only -
$14.95 - Part I.
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [10] is the perfect gift for friends,
co-workers, old girlfriends, dumped boyfriends, those in your family,
the garbage man for his night with beer and chatting, your famous book
group members, and or anyone you know who needs the medicine of
laughter.
Buy several copies and give them away. You'll become their hero (and
I'm not just joking).
NUMBER 2
And if you don't think those are the 10 top reasons to buy
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR, [11] then check this out:
ALL OF YOUR TREE-HUGGING FRIENDS WILL RESPECT YOU!
EARTH FIRST - JOKES SECOND!
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [12] is an environmentally friendly digital
version of a print book that save the lives of thousands of innocent
trees otherwise condemned to the torture of murder, liquidation, and
being sulphite invaded to make printing paper that will become a book,
be read once and thrown out.
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [13] is a download that will last a lifetime in
your system. And if you lose the file, write to
james@emailwitandhumor.com [14] with your confirmation number, and
he'll send you the download information again.
SAVE A TREE'S LIFE!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR INSTANTLY [15]
PLUS ....
AND GET MONEY, POWER, AND SEX
_a hysterical live lecture by Dr. Jay Polmar_
AND THE 11-MINUTE SPEED READING PROGRAM
_by Speedread.org as special free gifts for buying all 4 Parts_
* Read it on your computer whenever you want
* Adjust the type to match your reading needs.
* No waiting -- Instant Satisfaction
* Immediate download so:
* No Shipping or Handling Costs
* No Trips to the Bookstore
* No trees are harmed
But, if you prefer to read the jokes while on the john, print a copy
for yourself. The heck with saving the tree.
NUMBER 1
With EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [16]
you'll have your own Comedy Show.
You'll laugh your head off... Guaranteed*
And you don't have to wait and wait for a slow dial-up connection
to load one joke after another.
*DISCLAIMER: NOTE EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [17] ISN\'T RESPONSIBLE FOR
ANY MEDICAL OR LEGAL COSTS, NOR ANY OTHER COSTS, WHATSOEVER, THAT MAY
RESULT FROM ACTUALLY LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF. ALSO, PLEASE BE AWARE
THAT LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISGUISING YOUR
IDENTITY IS CONSIDERED A TERRORIST ACT, WHICH IS IN VIOLATION OF THE
US PATRIOT ACT AND WILL SUBJECT YOU TO INVESTIGATION BY THE DEPARTMENT
OF HOMELAND SECURITY, SEQUESTERING YOU IN GUANTANAMO BAY BY THE CIA AS
A TERRORIST, AND FEEDING YOU OLD RICE AND COCKROACHES. IF YOU FEEL
THAT YOU MIGHT LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF, PLEASE CONTACT
JAMES@EMAILWITANDHUMOR.COM TO SEND YOU A SMALL BOTTLE OF SURGICAL
SUPERGLUE TO GLUE THE DARN THING BACK ON AND PROTECT YOUR FREEDOM.
"If you don't laugh when you read
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR [18] then other people
are busy examining your last will and testament."
IT\'S IMPOLITE TO BRAGBUT...
SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN MAGAZINE
SCIENCE NEWS _January 18, 2006_
Laughter Proves Good Medicine for Heart
_LACKING A SENSE OF HUMOR MIGHT NOT JUST BE BAD FOR YOUR SOCIAL
LIFE, IT MIGHT ALSO BE HARMING YOUR CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH._ A new
study shows that laughter actually increases blood flow in the body,
proving right the old adage that laughter is the best medicine, at
least when it comes to the heart. _CARDIOLOGIST MICHAEL MILLER AND
COLLEAGUES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND TESTED BLOOD FLOW IN 20
HEALTHY MEN AND WOMEN AFTER THEY WATCHED 15-TO-30-MINUTE CLIPS OF THE
COMEDY MOVIES KINGPIN AND THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY AND A STRESSFUL
FILM, THE OPENING SEQUENCE OF SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. THE RESEARCHERS
MEASURED BLOOD FLOW BOTH BEFORE EACH VIEWING AND ONE MINUTE AFTER IT
ENDED._
_"WE WANTED TO SEE WHETHER LAUGHTER INDUCED A VASCULAR RESPONSE,"_
_MILLER EXPLAINS._
Prior research inspired the team to conduct the experiment. A series
of questionnaires administered to sufferers of coronary heart disease
by the cardiologists revealed that patients who had suffered a heart
attack failed to find the humor in a situation, such as wearing the
same outfit to a party, 40 percent more often than their healthy
counterparts. _"WE DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER THAT WAS CAUSE AND EFFECT OR
JUST PART AND PARCEL OF HAVING THE DISEASE,"_ Miller says.
They decided to investigate the possible healthy effects of laughter
by measuring vascular dilation after people chuckled at funny bits or
reacted to intense images. In total, the researchers gathered 160
measurements of blood flow in the brachial artery, which connects the
shoulder and elbow, from the 10 men and 10 women.
_WHILE LAUGHING, 19 OF THE SUBJECTS INCREASED HEALTHY BLOOD FLOW BY
AN AVERAGE OF 22 PERCENT._ AND COMPARING THE AMUSED AND STRESSFUL
STATES BROUGHT ON BY FILM CLIPS, MORE THAN 50 PERCENT MORE BLOOD
FLOWED WHEN LAUGHING, ACCORDING TO THE PAPER PUBLISHED IN THE CURRENT
ISSUE OF HEART. IN FACT, BEING LIGHT-HEARTED BOOSTED BLOOD FLOW ABOUT
THE SAME AMOUNT AS LIGHT EXERCISE OR DRUGS THAT LOWER CHOLESTEROL.
_DRAMA-INDUCED STRESS, ON THE OTHER HAND, CUT THAT RATE BY AS MUCH AS
ANGRY MEMORIES OR MENTAL CALCULATIONS._
"What that suggests, at the very least, is that _LAUGHTER ON A
REGULAR BASIS WILL UNDO SOME OF THE EXCESS STRESS WE FACE IN OUR
EVERYDAY LIVES," _ Miller notes.
_"PATIENTS AT RISK FOR CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE SHOULD LOOSEN UP A
BIT."_
_--DAVID BIELLO_
DON\'T TAKE MY WORD FOR THE FUN AND LAUGHTER THAT YOU\'LL HAVE WITH
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR! [19]
Just take these words, (and my wife and kids)
but please leave me the dog!
_"AS I\'M A RECOVERING FAILED BACK SURGERY PATIENT, MY LIFE IN NO
JOKE. I\'M RESTRICTED TO A WHEELCHAIR AND HAVE LITTLE TO LAUGH AT IN
MY ON LIFE. BUT, I\'VE GOT A LOT OF TIME TO DO NOTHING - SO RATHER
THAN BE A DO-NOTHING, I READ YOUR JOKES. I ORDERED YOUR JOKE BOOK A
SOON AS I SAW IT. JAMES, MY BOY, YOU\'VE GOT ME IN STITCHES SINCE I
STARTED READING IT. MY NURSE IS CONCERNED THAT I\'M USING MORE ADULT
DIAPERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ME LAUGHING SO HARD, I\'M PISSING MY PANTS!!
THANKS FOR GREAT WORK AND FOR HELPING MY DEPRESSION"_
_-- JAY C. ("DEADLEGS DADDY")._ _ _
_THIS IS AN EXCELLENT JOKE AND STORY BOOK - THE ANIMATION AND SOUNDS
ARE AN EXTRA BONUS! I HOPE YOU HAVE A BOOK 2 COMING OUT IN THE FUTURE.
JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!_
_-- PHILIP WANG ("THE JOKER")._ _ _
_JAMES, YOUR COMEDY BOOK IS REALLY GOOD, FUNNY AND AMUSING AS WELL.
I ENJOYED MYSELF TREMENDOUSLY. NO NEED TO SAY SO MUCH. YOU GUYS OUT
THERE, JUST GO AND GRAB YOURSELF A COPY - YOU WON'T REGRET IT._
_-- DEXTER ROSARIO_ _ _
_ONE OF THE BEST HA! HA! BOOKS I'VE READ SO FAR. MAKES AN EXCELLENT
GIFT FOR YOUR BOSS, COLLEAGUES, FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. I'M GOING TO
ORDER ONE FOR MY COUSIN IN PERTH NEXT WEEK._
_-- Y. C. LEE_ _ _
_HEY JAMES - I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD SO MUCH IDIOTIC JOKES AND
INTERESTING STUFF IN YOUR COLLECTION! YOU HAVE SO MANY THAT I'VE NEVER
HEARD OF BEFORE. NOW I HAVE A HANDY SOURCE OF MATERIAL I CAN USE IN MY
TOASTMASTER SESSIONS!_
_-- MARIANNE FLINN_ _ _
_HEY JAMES MAN. I LOVED YOUR JOKE BOOK. SOME OF MY FAVOURITES - ARE
THE CHILLI TASTING CONTEST, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, BOOJER DANCE -
AND MANY, MANY OTHERS. LET'S HOPE YOU DO A BOOK 2 IN LESS THAN THE
NEXT 10 YEARS!!_
_-- N. G LEO_ _ _
_GUARANTEED TO PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND LAUGHTER IN YOUR HEART!
I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE HOKKIEN 'AH BENG' JOKES - JUST HILARIOUS!_
_-- DAVID AMOS_ _ _
NO-RISK GUARANTEE OF SATISFACTION
IF YOU DON\'T LIKE IT I\'LL GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK!
THIS BOOK IS SO funny (and entertaining as well) that I've never had
to give a single refund.
Guess What? THAT\'S how good this book is!
You've got absolutely nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
This is my personal "humanitarian effort".
A no-risk offer to help the world's laugh-deprived people
to get the jokes they desperately need fast!
THE CLASSIC JOKES, THE AWARD JOKES, THE MICROSOFT JOKES,
EMAIL JOKES, KIDS JOKES, DOCTOR JOKES, TECH SUPPORT JOKES,
RELIGION JOKES, SCHOOL JOKES, WORK JOKES, ALL KINDS OF JOKES.
AND INSPIRATION FOR ALL OCCASIONS!
AND BY READING AND REPEATING THESE JOKES TO FRIENDS, USING THEM AT
PARTIES, AND LIGHTENING UP YOUR OWN ATTITUDE, YOU\'LL SMILE MORE, AND
OTHERS AROUND YOU WILL SMILE MORE. YOU\'LL ALSO HAVE LESS HEARTBURN,
GAS, AND YOU\'LL BE MORE FUN TO BE AROUND.
MONEY WON'T BUY HAPPINESS,
BUT YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE JOKES YOU WANT
FOR LESS THAN $15!
Is It Possible?
Could It Be?
250 Pages (Part I) of Gut-busting, Pee In Your Pants
Humor, With Bonus Sound, Music, Laughter, Graphics, Clip Art And
Animation For less Than $15? Believe It!!!
EMAIL WIT AND WISDOM (PART I) [20]
IS ONLY $14.95
BUT WAIT!
Order Today, for a limited time only, Parts II, III and IV as well
for an additional $14.95 only (they sell separately for $14.95 each)
AND
ORDER ALL FOUR PARTS TODAY TOO, AND YOU\'LL ALSO RECEIVE THESE
VALUABLE BONUS EBOOKS...
CLICK HERE TO ORDER
EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR INSTANTLY
AND GET MONEY, POWER, AND SEX
_A HYSTERICAL LIVE LECTURE BY DR. JAY POLMAR_
And The 11-Minute Speed Reading Program
by Speedread.org as special free gifts
No shipping, no handling, no other costs
(Yeah, for real!)
and look at what else you get
Value
1. Inspirational and Laughter Quotes ebook
An inspirational and fun book
with color, clip art and music
(great for your desktop!) $12.95
2. Book of Nonsense
An amusing collection of nonsense
rhymes and pictures $12.95
3. Money, Power, Sex,- a humorous e-book
contributed by Dr Jay $ 9.95
4. Speedreading e-book, - contributed
by Dr. Jay. A useful book to help you
finish your daily reading chores, so you can
spend more time being entertained with
our joke book. $19.95
5. Snapshots - a delightful book of cartoons
contributed by world famous humorist and
cartoonist - Jason Love $19.95
6. Bonus Collection of Ejokes
A bonus selection of olde jokes and humor $14.95
7. Raemaker's Cartoons -
A wry and biting satire of war humor $14.95
8. Two Hundred Humorous Sketches
A delightful collection of rare, out of print
olde cartoons and caricatures $14.95
9. David Blaine's Fun Magic Book
A fun and entertaining book $14.95
-------
Total Value $ 135.55
====
Not to mention the additional savings
of $ 29.90 when you purchase
Parts II, III and IV together with Part I.
Your Total Price Today - All Four Parts of Email Wit and Humor Plus
all the above Bonuses for only $29.90 - for a limited time only!
CLICK HERE AND ORDER TODAY [21]
For less than the price of one good dinner, you could be only ONE
MINUTE away from a laugh attack
and better mental and physical health!
CLICKBANK SELLS OUR PRODUCTS - THEY ARE A TRUSTED ONLINE RETAILER
SPECIALIZING IN DIGITALLY DELIVERED PRODUCTS. SO YOU ARE NOW ABLE TO
IMMEDIATELY AND CONFIDENTLY DOWNLOAD AND READ EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR!
[22]
INSTANT DOWNLOAD MEANS...INSTANT SATISFACTION! :-)
AT THIS PRICE, YOU SIMPLY CAN\'T AFFORD NOT TO ORDER... WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?
RUNS ON BOTH MAC AND PC
Minimum System Requirements
You should have at least -
Operating System: Windows 98 or higher
Processor Speed: Intel Pentium 333mhz or higher
Hard Disk Space: 100mb available for download
Memory: 256mb or more
Graphics: Standard VGA
Sound: Soundblaster or equivalent
Please note:
Your product delivery time will depend on the type and quality of
your computer system and internet connection.
Order Now Via Secure Server
Immediate Access, Download Within Minutes
::CLICK HERE FOR INSTANT ACCESS:: [23]
[24]
(18 AND OVER ONLY)
[25]
ORDER RIGHT NOW [26] AND YOU\'LL BE LAUGHING
TONIGHT AND FOR YEARS TO COME!
KEEP SMILING!
8 Weeks Money Back Guarantee!
P.S. _Remember..._ My Satisfaction-guaranteed Policy Protects You
From EVER Regretting Your Purchase. You\'ve Got Nothing To Lose,
And 1,000 Pages Of Jokes To Gain When You Order All Four parts Now.
_JAMES SIEW_
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