PAY CLOSE ATTENTION: You will be bombarded with emails from your neighbors, begging you to spill your secrets about how you mastered farming, after you've read this ...
Are You Tired of Slaving Away For Hours Trying to Build your Farming Empire? Then Keep Reading to Discover the Secret Tactics that an Engineer at Intel Stumbled Upon to Skyrocket his Farm to the Top!
October 26, 2009
3:20pm
From the Desk of:
"Bob" - Anonymous Employee at Intel
(for 6 years now - so please keep this quiet!!!)
Hey there, Fellow Farmer!
*stands up*
"Hi, My name is Bob, and I'm a Farming Addict."
"WELCOME, BOB!!!!"
*thunderous applause erupts*
I wish I was kidding about the above statement. If my bosses only knew about how much time I've spent wasted on this game, I'm sure that I'd be out of a job right about now. Let me give you a small taste of just how bad I used to be into this game:
I get up an hour earlier than usual, just so that I can check on my crops. I try to rush home from work in time to harvest my crops before they start to wither and rot, because if I lose out on all of those coins, then I'm never going to be able to buy the Manor of my dreams.*looks both ways and over both shoulders, and quietly whispers* Yes, I farm at work.Instead of asking me how my day went, my girlfriend now asks me how my rice plants are doing.I'm reconnecting with old friends by sending them green hay bales and making new friends by raking up scattered leaves.My new life goals include: buying a barn, and raising horses.I can now appreciate the beauty of real-life pumpkin patches.I know what fallow means!
Sounds pretty sad, doesn't it? I didn't think so. I mean, after all, I LOVE THIS GAME!! But I will admit; the time that I spent on this game could've been much better used (like checking out videos on YouTube, or reading up on TMZ for the latest gossip - another one of my guilty pleasures, or better yet, actually working, lol).
Anyway, so here I was, wasting literally hundreds of hours building my farm, when I should have been working on things like building a smaller, faster chip for your cell phone (amongst over things).
Have you ever had one of those dreams where you experienced your entire day? I did, and plenty of them. I hated when I would dream that I got up, went to work, leveled up a bunch, earned a ton of coins, and even once, I actually built my dream manor! They were so vivid and real, and it was the absolute worst when I would wake up and realize that it was all just a dream. Talk about a major bummer ...
And you know what? It just wasn't fair!!
I kept seeing other farmers building such amazing farms, so quickly, and gaining un-real amounts of XP (experience points), while here I was, feeling like I was sitting on my hands all day long or something. I just couldn't understand it; it was literally driving me crazy. I even came close a few times to just quitting the game ... that's how utterly frustrated I was.
So, guess what my idiot brain decided was a good idea, at the time, to do ...
CHEAT!
Let me tell you now: EXTREMELY BAD IDEA!!!
I googled around several sites, and found some software that they call 'bots', that would help me cheat my way to the top. I figured that it'd be my own little secret. Boy, was I sure wrong!
Any idea what happened next? I lost my farm account. *GASP* I can tell you now, that I never want another farmer to experience that feeling. To put it into perspective, it's kinda like finding out that your Mom cooked your favorite chocolate chip cookies (ya know, the hot, fresh, home-made, oooey-gooey, chewy ones), only to rush home and see that the family ate all of them without leaving you even a single crumb!! (wow, does anybody else want some chocolate chip cookies right about now? lol)
Thankfully, after a rather heart-felt, gut-wrenching letter of plea to the powers that be to give me my account back, they let me have it, but I had to promise that I would never, ever cheat again. NO PROBLEMS THERE!
So, even though I had my account back, I was still right back where I started: angry, flustrated (ya know, when you're both frustrated and flustered at the same time, lol), and most importantly: I was ready to get back to farming!
But still, I couldn't help but think ...
What Was I Doing Wrong?
I do consider myself an intelligent person. I mean, after all, I am an engineer, and I managed to land a pretty good job working at Intel, but I just could not figure this out. How were other players able to build up their farms, collect their ribbons, and gain so much XP, without spending countless hours doing so? Sure, I guess one way to do it is to just buy coins with my credit card, or fill out those silly offers, but I didn't want to take the easy way out; I love a challenge.
I'm sure you're familiar with these 2 sayings:
"Don't re-invent the wheel."
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"
So that's what I set out to do. I started by reading the farming forums on Facebook, and making notes of which players seemed to know what they were talking about. I started messaging them, trying to get any information out of them that could help me. I just needed somebody (anybody!) to give me a little break, and spill the beans ...
That Was Easier Said Than Done!
People just didn't seem to want to share their secrets with me. I guess that I can understand where they're coming from. If I had spent my time and unearthed such a valuable discovery, I would be hesitant to share it as well. But I was determined; I was (and still am) addicted to this game, and I so desperately wanted to hit level 30, and have my own mansion, and millions in coins.
And then, late one night (1:30am on a Monday morning to be exact - I used to set my alarm clock so that I could wake up to harvest my farm), I stumbled upon an ad that somebody had posted on a classified ads website, offering to teach others how to annihilate the farming world and build their own farming plantation empire ...
But He Charged $20/hr !!
I sent him an email and talked with him for a little bit, and he told me that he could teach me everything that I was dying to know, in about 5 hours. Now you do the math. 5 hours @ $20 an hour ...
And you know what I did? I sent him a PayPal right then and there. I wanted (no, I NEEDED) to know what he knew. I scheduled an appointment with him for later that night (8pm until 1am), then I turned off my computer and got some much-needed sleep. I knew that appointment couldn't come fast enough.
Fast forward 18 and a half hours later ...
I logged into MSN messenger, and painstakingly waited what seemed like an excruciating 10-15 minutes, until my "mentor" signed online. Finally, it was about to happen!
I spent the next 5 hours furiously taking notes, absorbing every ounce of information that he threw at me, and when the session was over, I breathed a sigh of relief, turned off my computer, and then went to sleep. I had an early meeting in the morning; otherwise I would've stayed up all night long playing.
The Hidden Techniques I Learned Made Me Want to Hang My Head in Shame
It was so ... simple; so easy. I was admittedly a little embarrassed that I hadn't come up with them first. It was so brilliant that if I knew these techniques, you would just laugh at how shockingly simple it really is to conquer this game, once you learn how.
Imagine having ungodly amounts of XP per day, without spending countless hours on your computer harvesting your farms. Imagine creating huge amounts of coin any time you want. Imagine having every single one of your ribbons. Imagine having your manor. Imagine having a level 70 account.
I don't have to imagine any of these things anymore; I know exactly what it all feels like. Now what really shocked me was just how much less time I had to spend in the game, and how much better results I was getting. It was almost like I was in some sort of secret society of sorts. Here I was, now part of (what I felt was) an elite few that completely dominated this game.
I Want You to Know What It Feels Like, Too
Ever since that fateful night that changed my farming experience forever, I became almost obsessed with getting my farming strategy to a near-perfection level. I became so good at it, that my "mentor" even approached me to help him teach others. But I turned him down.
I don't expect everybody to be as obsessed as I was (but you have to admit, farming is highly addictive!), and I certainly didn't expect (nor want) people to pay $20/hr to finally be led out of the dark.
It got to the point where I would login to my Facebook account every morning, and see all of these incoming friend requests, a plethora of free gifts, and even messages from other users, practically begging me for any help I could give them. It was as if I had become a farming celebrity.
I Started to Feel Bad For My Fellow Farmers
As far back as I can remember, I've always held an endearing compassion for helping other people. I hate seeing people suffer, or in bad moods, or being frustrated because they can't have what they want. And while there's no way for me to possibly know the statistic, I would guess that around 90-95% of the farmers playing this game are just like I used to be: frustrated, upset, and just wanting to level up and gain as much XP, coins and ribbons without have to log in every 4 hours to harvest strawberries! (Here's a little tip: Plant grapes as soon as you can - they take 1 day to grow, and you get 2 XP for each one you harvest!)
Want Some More FREE Tips?
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I'm Not Going To Hold Anything Back
I've crammed everything that I've learned into an easy-to-follow, step-by-step instructional guide. I don't leave anything out. You'll find everything laid out for you perfectly in my super-exclusive "Farm Secrets Revealed" guide. Let me take you by the hand, and walk you through every single secret technique that I've mastered throughout my entire time farming (I'll even use baby-steps if you need me to!).
And I do mean everything. The exact same techniques that I used to skyrocket my farm first to a level 30, then straight skyward to that coveted level 70! And you know what? Immediately after you finish reading "Farm Secrets Revealed", you'll be able to begin implementing my ninja tactics, and on your way to joining me in the ranks of the top farming elite.
Remember, I Paid $20 an Hour to Pick My Mentor's Brain
and Uncover These Secret, Proven Techniques
I'm not going to waste your time teaching you things that don't work. I'm not going to show anything that could put your account at risk of being banned. Everything that I will show is completely 100% on the up and up. I already lost my account once, and thank god that they gave it back to me, and I refuse to ever put anybody at risk of the same thing. I won't show you where to download or how to use any cheat or automated 'bot' software. After all, you do want to continue farming your heart away, don't you?
Let me ask you something. How often do you see truly amazing farms? Farms that look like the "farmer" behind it must have college degrees in architecture, agriculture, AND economics in order to pull off such a design? Not very often, right? How would you like to own of those farms?
Immediately After You Download "Farm Secrets Revealed",
You Will Know the Answers to these Questions:
Why do 90-95% of the farmers play this game the absolutely worst possible way?
How can I earn massive amounts of XP, as quickly as I can, regardless of my level?
How can I decrease the amount of time that I'm playing, and still be able to harvest my crops faster than I've ever been able to before?
How can I farm smarter and more efficiently than I currently am?
How do I get a ton of coins so that I can buy whatever I want to help me farm?
How in the world do I get some of the best farmers in this game to become my neighbors?
How can I guarantee that my crops will never wilt and rot while I'm away from my computer?
I've heard that there's a hidden tactic so that I don't have to replow my field before I plant more seeds. Is this true ?!?!
How can I most efficiently conquer each level, in the shortest amount of time possible?
Is there a way that I can earn XP automatically, without me being at my computer?
How can I get more neighbors without constantly bombarding my IRL (that's internet talk for "in real life") friends with requests and invitations?
Is it really possible to reach level 70 in less than a month?
Why are Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the absolute best chocolate candy ever invented? (okay, just kidding on this one, but seriously, they are the best!!)
Is your mouth watering by now? I sure hope that it is, because you have no idea how incredibly giddy-like-a-little-girl it makes me to be able to say that I have mastered all of the above ... and I want you to be able to do the same!
I don't expect you to take my word for it, though. Here's what some of the farmers who had the fortunate opportunity to read "Farm Secrets Revealed" had to say about it:
Convinced yet? Don't you want today to be the very last day that you'll have to login to your account and farm every 4 hours? The last day that your experience points and coins are at embarrassing levels? Wouldn't you want today to be the day that random strangers start to message you, begging to be your neighbor, filling your inbox with gifts, and asking for your help on just how in the world were you able to master farming so darn fast?
Today Is That Day!
I've taken out all of the guesswork, and my own farming account is proof of it! I want you to be happy; no, I want you to be beyond thrilled and completely excited about this. I am 100% sure that you will be satisfied with "Farm Secrets Revealed", and I'm even willing to back it up with my ...
"Quit Harvesting Strawberries Every 4 Hours" 100% Money-Back Guarantee
Not that I have anything against strawberries or anything; in fact, I find them rather tasty. But I sure did grow to hate having to login every 4 hours to harvest them, or else risk losing them when they would rot! And I'm going to go ahead and go out on a limb here and assume that you're not too fond of doing so either. So here's what I'm offering: I'll give you a full 60 days to prove me wrong. At the end of those 60 days, with how much you've learned, with how much XP you've gained, which how many coins, ribbons, neighbors, and free gifts you have, if you still enjoy harvesting those darn strawberries every 4 hours, then just let me know, and I'll give you every last penny of your money back.
Doesn't get much better than that, now does it? You have absolutely nothing to lose - I have removed every shred of risk to you.
There are currently almost 60 million people playing this game, with thousands of new farmers joining daily. Do you really want to be left behind? Don't you want to be able to have the most beautiful, amazing farm that you've ever seen? I'm talking the type of farm that other people will take snapshots of, and post it on their Facebook account - because that is exactly what is going to happen when you get your hands on "Farm Secrets Revealed"!
[] YES PLEASE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW! I PROMISE THAT I WON'T SHARE YOUR SECRETS WITH ANYBODY, NOT EVEN MY CAT !
(okay, so I might tell my cat, but nobody else - I swear!!)
I understand that for the one-time-only unbeatable price of just $24.99, I am going to receive instant access to my very own copy of "Farm Secrets Revealed"
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I hope that you choose to join our little elite "inner circle" of farmers. I can't wait for you to show me how awesome your new farm is!
Here's to Being New Farming Friends,
"Bob"
P.S. What are you waiting for? I guess you must **love** picking those strawberries every 4 hours, day in, day out ... *yawn*
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