Discover How to Create a Balanced Relationship!
Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.
Co-creator of
"Overcome Control Conflict"
Dear Upset Spouse or Partner,
“Announcing… What Every Spouse or Partner Ought to Know About Overcoming Control Issues”
A Gold Mine of Specific Techniques and Strategies
Sure you’re frustrated! The fact that you’re reading this means that control issues are a concern in your relationship and you want to do something about it.
Are you in a marriage or relationship where one partner:
Has an opinion about almost everything that he (or she) imposes on a more passive partner, Is convinced that the other partner needs to do things a certain way, Believes the other partner should think and feel a certain way, or Insists the other partner act and be a certain way?
Meanwhile the passive partner is feeling trapped, lost, confused, or resentful. Does this describe your marriage or relationship?
Or maybe your partner has accused you of being controlling, but you don’t agree. Even so, the perception of a control issue in your relationship creates a problem.
When control conflict in a relationship finally erupts, the mate who has been passive or submissive often feels like a ticking bomb is about to explode. And the controlling partner may be caught off guard, not knowing how to handle the new turbulence in the relationship,
Can you feel your marriage or relationship spiraling downward and you don’t know what to do to improve it?
Don’t worry. The solution may be easier than you think.
I Can Help You Overcome Your Control Issues
In my professional career I’ve counseled many couples with control conflict tearing apart their relationship.
And I’ve learned a lot from clients just like you about what works and what doesn’t work in improving controlling versus passive dynamics in relationships.
If you're going to change your relationship, you need to:
Know that there's always hope that you can overcome control problems, Avoid doing what hurts your relationship, Know what steps to take that have worked successfully for other couples, and Take immediate action to stop the downward slide and start moving forward.
Besides my many years of professional experience, I think my personal experience also gives me credibility. The fact is, every relationship struggles with control challenges at least a little bit. And my marriage is no different.
But my husband Lee and I have discovered that the quality of a marriage or relationship doesn’t depend on avoiding control conflict altogether. That would be an impossible order.
Instead the key to having a great relationship is to handle conflicts in a way that preserves, nurtures and builds those close and bonded feelings you want with your partner.
Lee and I have found that the path to love, respect, passion and trust is to focus on doing the things that build a good relationship and to minimize those things that tear it down.
This is the way to create true intimacy, with the two of you joined in body, mind and heart—a soul connection. You can have it too.
All you do is follow the specific easy-to-understand system that I'll show you.
Which of These Common Control Problems
Can You Relate To?
Communication with your mate is poor or nonexistent, Trust has been eroded by control issues in your relationship, You want to change your own domineering behavior but don’t know how, or you want to learn to be more assertive, Tempers and defensiveness make it difficult to discuss issues, You want to rekindle love but don’t know what to do, or Mutual respect between you and your partner is missing.
Control problems are a huge strain in thousands of relationships every year that careen toward break-up, fragmented by angry exchanges, lifeless passion and shattered love.
Could this be a description of your marriage or relationship?
If your answer is yes, don’t despair. Things always look worse if you’re at the bottom of a pit. But I have a ladder to help you get out. Really, I do.
Or maybe your relationship isn’t that bad yet, but you can see the direction it’s headed. And that direction isn’t where you want to go.
Relax. In either case, I’ve got a solution for you.
Is Your Marriage or Relationship Communication-Poor?
When we asked our Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine subscribers to take a survey about control issues in their marriage, the number one problem in the hundreds of responses we got back was that couples don’t have the kind of gratifying communication that makes them feel close.
And that’s a shame, because once learned, communicating at a deep level is so easy. It gives partners a sense of closeness, of being on the same wavelength, of being connected at the heart. Bonded in harmony and joined in love.
Isn’t that what you want? All you need is the willingness to take small steps.
But you’re probably thinking, “You just don’t know my situation. My spouse (or partner) is difficult. He (or she) would never change the way things are in our relationship. I don’t think deep communication is possible beween us.”
I understand. Many partners over the years who I’ve talked to have said the same thing. And now I’m going to share with you an insight that’s as simple as it is profound.
Small changes, added up over a period of time, can lead to a major transformation.
This is true in physics. It’s true in economics. And it’s true in relationships!
How do I mean? Read on.
Today Start a New Marriage or Relationship…
Even if Control Issues Have Ruined Trust
Communication and trust are opposite sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other.
Have control issues in your relationsip contributed in some way to a decline in trust between you and your partner? If so, I can guarantee that it’s affecting the quality of your communication in your relationship.
But you don’t have to suffer in a marriage or relationship without trust or communication! How do I know this?
Imagine a time when you as a child played on a see-saw with a friend who was bigger and heavier than you were. The bigger friend (call him Tommy) is sitting on his end of the board with both of his feet on the ground.
You at the other end of the board meanwhile are stranded in mid-air with your legs dangling down, helpless to change the balance of the see-saw. But you, being resourceful, ask your other friend (call her Mary) who is standing nearby to help.
Mary, spotting a pile of bricks close by, picks one up and hands it up to you, perched up in the air. Nothing happens. You ask for another brick and now you come down a bit and then stop. It takes a third brick to finally bring you into level balance with Tommy.
The point is, change only happened on one side of the see-saw, not both sides. Yet both sides came into balance after you took a number of relatively small actions or steps.
You have the ability to positively change the balance in your relationship. It would be nice if your partner was a willing participant, but that’s not strictly necessary.
I want to be like Mary, handing you counterweights to get your relationship into an even balance, where you and your mate are equal partners.
In a marriage or relationship, when just one partner makes changes, it affects the equilibrium of both partners. And if you make small, positive changes in your relationship, your mate will take notice and be influenced. Whether he (or she) wants to be or not!
And just as adding bricks to one side of a see-saw changes its balance, making incremental improvements in the way you relate to your partner will, over time, make a huge difference.
Doesn’t that make sense? I’m going to show you how to make small, yet consistent changes that over time will have a major effect on the quality of your relationship. And isn’t that what you really want?
How Much is Anger Costing Your Relationship?
What do you do if an otherwise good apple has a dark spot on it? Cut out the dark spot before you eat the apple, of course.
Anger is like a dark spot on a relationship. And if allowed to grow, the anger will take over the relationship and ruin every part of it. And with an apple, if the dark spot grows too big, you end up throwing away the apple.
It happens the same way with a couple. If anger is allowed to fester and grow, one or both partners may decide that throwing away the marriage or relationship is the only option.
But it doesn’t have to happen that way. The key is to take action before the dark spot gets too big. Do you have a dark spot on your marriage? Is the dark spot of anger in your relationship growing?
Maybe you don’t think that anger in your relationship has grown to the point of being a major problem. But how do you really know if your mate feels the same?
Remember this—a relationship is like an moving escalator—it never is still. And a couple is either actively working on becoming closer, or they are drifting apart. Partners that report problems with control issues generally are not becoming closer. In fact, just the opposite is happening.
Understand that in a marriage or relationship with control issues, anger is typically unexpressed by one partner a lot of the time. It can be like an undetected cancer growing in an unsuspecting patient.
Why wait as the spot gets bigger and bigger? Do you really want to court disaster in your relationship? And if you choose to do nothing about it now, how do you know your marriage or relationship won’t silently pass the point of no return?
To Partners Who Either Want to Be
Less Controlling…Or Less Passive…
But Don’t Know How
A little-known fact is that both partners behave the way they do basically out of fear of facing change and growth. They subconsciously fear that the pain of changing their behavior is worse than maintaining the status quo.
The solution of facing this discomfort is best summarized in one word: courage. Courage is the renewable resource that each of us possesses , even when we forget that we have it.
And just as fear is the harness that keeps us tethered to unproductive and self-defeating behaviors, courage is the light switch that illuminates the new relationship that we can step into.
Imagine a couple in which a crisis unsets the status quo in the relationship. Often the submissive partner has a moment of conscious realization that the prevailing control or submission dynamic is no longer acceptable if the marriage or relationship is to be happy.
And whatever the exact circumstances of the crisis in the relationship are, it becomes clear that some type of change between the couple must happen before peace will prevail in the relationship.
This moment of crisis actually offers the best chance to change the course of the marriage or relationship because it is at this point of maximum discomfort for both partners that motivation to change may be at its peak.
Maybe the passive partner has reached a threshold in what’s acceptable to him (or her) and says to the other, “You’re too controlling. You’re always bossing me around,” or something similar.
Believe it or not, the partner who has been given this message has received a huge blessing. Why?
Because when you get this feedback, you’ve been handed the seeds to a better, improved relationship. And if you learn to nurture these seeds, they will yield a bountiful harvest.
But if you don’t know what to do, you’ll end up wasting the opportunity you have.
That’s where I can help you.
Check the Kind of
Relationship Improvement You Want
Which of the following kinds of improvement do you want in your marriage or relationship?
Increased intimacy Enhanced communication More fun Better sex Less conflict
Announcing a Powerful New System to Overcome Control Conflict
My husband Lee and I have created an easy-to-follow comprehensive course to simplify improving your marriage or relationship!
The course is called Overcome Control Conflict with Your Spouse or Partner: What to Do if Your Mate Says You’re Too Controlling OR if You’re Tired of Being Controlled.
Overcome Control Conflict gives you the tools you need to get started reconnecting with your partner IMMEDIATELY.
Overcome Control Conflict is a convenient and accessible guide containing the best and most effective recommendations on stopping destructive behaviors in control situations. These pointers have worked for countless couples who have been my clients over the years.
The course consists of over six hours of audio divided into eight downloadable MP3 files. With a broadband connection, you can listen each file instantly on your computer. Or you can download each file to your computer or to an MP3 player (like an IPod) in approximately four to seven minutes, depending on the file.
The course also comes with a complete written downloadable transcript in pdf format so you can read along with the audio recording if you choose. And since the audio and the transcript are downloaded directly to your computer, you get the information delivered to you immediately for your convenience.
In a hurry? [Click to order Overcome Control Conflict](#YourSatisfaction)!
So what’s in Overcome Control Conflict? Here below is a partial list:
Recording One (Audio Files 1 and 2):
Introduction of Control Dynamics
This recording gives an overview of control issues and dynamics that lays the background for the other recordings—designed for both partners.
What control issues are in a marriage or relationship. How to know if you’re a controlling partner. How to know if you’re a passive partner. What drives controlling behavior—Why some partners are controlling and others are passive. Why a controller is so invested in keeping control. How control issues can harm a relationship and lead to breaking up or divorce. Why just wanting to change isn’t enough—and what else you need. How control is exerted in a relationship and how to recognize it. What to do you do if you disagree with your partner’s assessment that you’re too controlling.
Recording Two (Audio Files 3 and 4):
Recommendations for Controlling Partners
This recording gives specific recommendations for individuals who are the more controlling partner in the relationship or marriage.
Seven things a partner has to be willing to do in order to change controlling tendencies. How blame diverts attention and hides the real issues. What things a controlling partner should avoid doing at all costs when control issues erupt—maybe to the point of the mate wanting to leave. How to handle confrontations with your partner about the control dynamics. What a controlling partner can say when the mate doesn’t believe change is possible. Eleven specific steps you can take to change controlling behavior and experience continuous growth and transformation at a deep level. What partners can do to reduce the bad feelings that result when they disagree. How a partner can handle backsliding into former controlling behavior. How to express your wants without appearing controlling.
Recording Three (CD Files 5 and 6):
Recommendations for the Passive Partner
This recording gives specific recommendations for individuals who are the more passive partner in the relationship or marriage.
How to handle anger and other strong emotions. Exact steps to take to become more assertive. The difference between assertive and aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior. Five things that must be in place before you can move forward. What you need to know about codependency. What to do if you no longer feel romantic or sexual attraction towards your partner. Specific strategies to change the balance of power in your relationship. How to stand up for yourself when your partner doesn’t agree with you. How to empower yourself and not lose yourself in your relationship.
Recording Four (Audio Files 7 and 8):
Teleseminar on Frequently Asked Questions
This recording of a live teleseminar I recently conducted is chock-full of answers to the most pressing questions partners have asked me about control issues. Some of the topics I addressed include:
What to do if both partners are controlling. How to strike a balance so that neither partner feels controlled. How to make the relationship “fair and balanced” so that it meets each partner’s needs. How to rebuild trust when it has been eroded by control issues. The role of forgiveness in restoring a relationship. Coping with the fear of change. How to use a simple technique that can save you from having to continue learning things the hard way. Subtle control behavior—what it is, how to spot it, how to confront and change it. How to break the cycle of control without breaking the relationship.
Overcome Control Conflict helps you take action IMMEDIATELY to start improving your marriage or relationship.
It gives you concrete information, ideas and suggestions you can use now with your mate.
Ready to get started? [Click to order Overcome Control Conflict](#YourSatisfaction).
Beat the Learning Curve
and Avoid the Mistakes Others Have Made
Discover the strategies and techniques successful couples use to overcome control conflict—the ones that are designed to give you what you want—a close and loving relationship with your partner.
You get simple yet effective ideas to build a bridge back to your spouse or partner.
They aren't theoretical; they really work.
That means you're not wasting your time just hoping your partner will respond to you. All of the tips have been successfully used by others and are designed to give you the positive results you want.
Downloadable Overcome Control Conflict is normally yours for $59.
But today you're in luck because we're having a Sale for the month of !
For a limited time, we're reducing the price from $59 to ONLY $39 to download the course immediately!
Considering the High Cost of Divorce or Break-Up, This Is A Bargain.
This is less than what you'd pay for 60 minutes of my time in marriage or relationship coaching. (One hour currently costs $110.)
Because you get the course in two formats—audio and written—both you and your partner will have access to this relationship-saving advice in whatever way works best for each of you.
You get:
Over six hours of audio MP3 files downloadable on our site, and The transcript as a downloadable e-document in pdf format.
You'll be getting the secrets that have changed the lives of numerous couples who were struggling with control issues. Like you, they didn't know if they could ever be happy again in their marriage or relationship.
Yet, by using the methods in Overcome Control Conflict they created a strong relationship with deeper intimacy and renewed passion.
You also deserve to be happy and have a satisfying relationship with your partner. All you need is the right information and the willingness to use it.
If not now, when? [Click to order Overcome Control Conflict](#YourSatisfaction)!
But wait…there's more.
For A Limited Time…
Receive a Special Free Bonus CD When You Get Overcome Control Conflict
How to Create a More Positive Relationship is an audio recording I've recently created that will be included as the ninth downloadable audio in your set. It will supercharge your relationship by showing you how to follow a few simple guidelines.
This recording will teach you:
An important key to having a loving and satisfying relationship, How to attract more love, joy and happiness into your life, Tips to help you appreciate your spouse or mate more and be appreciated more in return, and Four steps to create an exceptional marriage or relationship.
It can help you achieve your most important marriage or relationship goals by giving you valuable tools you need to succeed.
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We use ClickBank so your order information is kept completely confidential—only ClickBank and your credit card company access the information.
Your order is processed immediately, and you'll get a receipt for your purchase via email.
That way, you can have instant access to the tips that counselors use with couples — but at a fraction of the cost of in-person counseling. By ordering now, you can start changing your marriage or relationship for the better immediately!
You have no risk, nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Don't Decide Now.
Listen to Overcome Control Conflict
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100% Money Back Guarantee
If you knew for sure that the answer to overcoming control conflict in your relationship was in this audio set I know you'd want to have it.
That's why I want you to have a chance to listen to the information before you decide if you'll keep it.
Will these recommendations really work for you? They've worked for countless other couples. I guarantee that you'll be satisfied or your money back!
[Just click to order Overcome Control Conflict](#YourSatisfaction) safely with our secure order form. I can help you. But you've got to take the first step.
God Bless You,
P.S. Remember, your life as a couple will dramatically improve if you make an honest effort to apply my recommendations or YOUR MONEY BACK anytime up to eight weeks (56 days) after your investment in Overcome Control Conflict. GUARANTEED!
All of the ideas and techniques in the audio files are ones that I've used successfully in real life situations with couples for many years. They are the same strategies I use every day in my marriage and relationship consulting practice to help scores of people transform their lives every year.
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Ordering Information
[] Your Satisfaction Is Our Primary Goal
OK Nancy,
You inspire me to trust you for the next eight weeks with my faith in your audio CD set. I'm willing to try your suggestions with the understanding that if I fail to:
Learn more about control issues than I know now, and Understand what specific steps I need to take to improve my marriage or relationship.
I will have every right to demand my money back anytime up to 56 days after making an honest effort to apply your recommendations if they don't deliver amazing results.
I'm willing to get Overcome Control Issues based on your IRON-CLAD GUARANTEE of my money back if my life as a spouse or partner doesn't dramatically improve as a result.
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If for any reason you are dissatisfied, simply let us know and we'll gladly refund 100% of your purchase price. You keep all of the downloads.
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