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[Life Hacks for Successful Relationships]
Better Relationships through Home Cooking
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How To Start Improving Your Relationships In One Day Without Pain and Tears
For support, contact us at authors@agusfrida.com
From The Desk Of: Agus Ekanurdi
Dear Friend,
I’ve been there before, the times where I struggled to keep my relationship afloat with my wife, Frida.
Do you live in constant fights with your loved ones?
Do you worry that something terrible is about to happen?
Do you have trouble breathing, relaxing, and sleeping because of all those fights with your loved ones?
Do you think you’re losing control, and that you’re going to leave everything behind?
Are you trapped in your own relationship hell, and don’t know how to get out?
I’ve been there, and I know what it’s like. Shallow breathing, tension in the gut, chest pains, rapid heartbeat… Every moment is exhausting, crushing, and painful. Anxiety destroys your confidence, your productivity, your relationships, and your ability to enjoy life. The worst part is the obsessive hopelessness – the gnawing sense that you’ll never feel happy again.
Rest assured, you’re not alone. And let’s be honest, I’ve probably made twice as many mistakes as you have. I’ve ignored advice from my friends, kept my ego high, gone for discussion groups, and even thought to end our marriage.
Thankfully, I’ve managed to find my way out of this and I would love to share my story with you.
In 2010, I proposed and Frida, accepted. At the time, I believed that marriage was a simple thing—just get to a wedding and then live together under one roof. Every weekend go to the cinema and malls. Shop together, eat together, and laugh together. That’s it. Nothing complicated. I said to myself, I will just have fun with it. Soon after, I learned the hard way that marriage was not as simple a thing as I’d thought it would be. Then the wedding with all its glory and the excitement of the celebration were done. So there we were—wedding day, done. Renting a place together, done. Moving into the new place, done.
I thought that marriage was as simple as that. But I was wrong. After a while, my question was,
Now what?
But I did not share this worry with Frida. In fact, we hardly talked at all.
On the weekends, we went to malls and shopped. Unfortunately, we often perused stores and shops in near silence, finding little to say to each other. Although we held hands as we felt we should, it became increasingly clear that we were not happy. Meanwhile, life went on. Since I didn’t know what else to do to make Frida and me happy, I spent a lot of money in those early days, using my credit cards to spend more than I had on more than we needed. I bought a new audio system and many gadgets, additions to our life that only served to drive us further apart as we isolated from each other, burying our love in material things that had no substance and provided no real joy.
I also started to spend a lot for my wife. I thought that buying her expensive things was the answer, believing that material objects would make her happy again and bring back the light to her eyes. So I bought her many, many expensive gifts—jewellery and more gadgets, clothing, and even food. I tried to impress her by taking her out to more and more expensive restaurants. The gifts, the gadgets, the restaurants—they were all nothing. Our isolation from others grew with the unease in our relationship. At home, we didn’t even bother to sit together on the couch to watch TV. Using tiredness and long workdays as an excuse, we went straight to bed in the evenings. We did not talk, did not eat together, and did not laugh. I have never felt less like a man—as my father had prayed I’d become—than I did during that awful time.
We fought often—the same fights, over and over, always ending the same way. I would yell, and Frida would grow quiet. If she spoke at all, it would hardly be a sentence. Then I’d yell and scold her again. Frida became increasingly withdrawn, and I became more and more angry. Sometimes she’d cry in her sleep. Our arguments grew worse. We comforted ourselves with junk food. It was not unusual for us to eat three times the normal serving of fast food and then go directly to bed, to sleep away our anguish and frustration with each other. We ignored each other—Frida, afraid to say anything to me, and I, too frustrated and angry to talk to her.
This went on for some time, until one day when we travelled back to my hometown for a Chinese New Year celebration. We arrived in time for lunch. My mother and father prepared us a simple home cooked lunch. My wife and I enjoyed that lunch so much and so deeply. We felt the warmth of the food not only in our bellies but also in our hearts. Sitting across from Frida at the familiar dining room table in my childhood home, I could see my wife’s face brighten again. The smile I’d fallen in love with was back. My wife and I talked and laughed together again, happily teasing each other the way we used to.
That very moment led me back to happier relationship with my wife. I start to remember how my father used to cook for the family to share his love and keep the joy in our relationships. I then started to use home cooking as a tool to control my ego for a better and joyful relationship with my wife. That’s only one part of the great benefits that I reap from home cooking in building great relationships. Much more will definitely be shared to you in my book. I have documented concepts that took me thousands of hours and countless tears to improve relationships through home cooking.
Would you like to be able to have a great and joyful relationships without worrying about coming to see therapists?
Well, the good news is, now you can.
Here’s some of the things you’ll get with Cook Your Way to Love & Harmony:
Understand the importance of a simple meal Show your love for your family, friends, or loved ones in non-material ways Learn how to manage stress, difficult topics, or situations like credit card debt Let your actions speak to your family, friends, or partner louder than words ever could Mend your failing relationship in subtle and non-obvious ways Enjoy over a dozen authentic recipes to try out with your loved ones
This will totally change the way you look at relationships and home cooking because it simply will work. But don’t take my word for it!
Here’s what others have to say about Cook Your Way to Love & Harmony:
“Agus & Frida have written a book that will apply to everyone – no matter what age, or what type of relationship. Fundamentally, it shows a married couple through the ups and downs of their marriage, and how cooking, a simple yet caring and deliberate act, can strengthen and focus any bond. For those looking to work on relationships in a subtle, and natural way, it’s a must read – the recipes are also a lot of fun, mostly covering South-East Asian cuisine.” James C. Steadman (Brisbane, Australia)
“This book is really nicely written, it’s motivating – and: it works! If you don’t give this a try, you will regret it. A superb idea that fascinated me from the moment I read the title – it is actually quite obvious but we need to be told sometimes
