win your divorce workbook
LET ME ASK YOU A SIMPLE
QUESTION - IS YOUR DIVORCE
BECOMING MORE DIFFICULT THAN
YOU COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED?
I CAN HELP YOU SIMPLIFY THE MANY CHALLENGES YOU FACE ON THE WAY
TO A SUCCESSFUL DIVORCE - EVEN WHEN THE PROBLEMS SEEM
INSURMOUNTABLE
Sydney, Australia
Dear Friend,
I understand divorce because this is my business.
I have helped many people go through it and understand that divorce
is not just about the legal side or telling the kids or financing a
new home or working with a lawyer. It is all these things and more.
I find it amazing to hear 'once a legal settlement has been reached
the whole matter is over.'
Wrong.
You need to be prepared for all the different situations you find
yourself in, to make it easier to live with yourself and make your way
out the other side and be able to just get on being happy.
After all that is what most divorcing people want. "Samuel, I just
want to be happy. I'm sick of feeling like this." I hear it all the
time.
And believe me it is an industry; even if your professionals are
kind and mean well, they are feeding their own families with what you
pay them and that makes you valuable.
I know what you are going through because I work with people like
you every day.
Are you making one of these
five common mistakes?
MISTAKE 1. PEOPLE KEEP ACTING AS IF THEY WERE MARRIED.
It is lack of communication that is the number one killer of
relationships. Not being able to express your wants and needs and, if
you do, not having them heard.
One of the most common lines I use with clients is "You couldn't
control your spouse in the marriage what makes you think you can
control them now?"
"You have to ....."
If there is one phrase that is sure to start a fight it is this one,
yet people continue to use it over and over.
When this is said to you now, you probably think "NO, I don't have
to.... And furthermore I will tell you ........" and then another
fight occurs that neither of you will win.
MISTAKE 2. LETTING FEAR TAKE OVER.
We feel afraid when we don't know what the future will hold.
It is frightening to think about not being married. Your past,
present and future are all wrapped up in being married and suddenly it
doesn't exist anymore. Your past seems wasted, your present is a
disaster and you simply can't see your future.
The trick to handling fear is to do something, any small step, in
spite of the fear.
Divorces can last for years because people are too scared to work
out their finances, make decisions about children or any of the other
practical decisions they need to.
The other great fear is 'who am I, if I am no longer Mrs/Mr ....?.'
when a person suddenly finds them self alone.
MISTAKE 3. LETTING THE LAWYERS CALL THE SHOTS.
Have you given your divorce over to a lawyer and now seem to be on
some legal roller coaster? It happens all the time..
Or have you had to hire some legal eagle because your spouse has
hired the most aggressive lawyer in town who only knows how to
litigate?.
Divorces can get out of control when lawyers get involved..
Do you realize you are paying for this? Straight out of your
settlement. The money you will need to continue with your life..
MISTAKES 4. REHASHING THE PAST.
"You always....." Doesn't matter anymore..
If you are so angry that past issues are still troubling you and you
just can't help but bring them into every conversation then you are
hurting your separation and divorce..
If this is being done to you then you have my sympathy..
The past is the past. If you need to get over it then you need a
therapist. In the divorce process you need your head firmly in today
and the future. You can't make people pay for past hurts; this will
only slow the process and cause further upset..
MISTAKE 5. MAKING YOUR DIVORCE A TOPIC FOR GOSSIP
If you are talking to everyone about your divorce -.
You are causing major problems for yourself..
This is your business, as was your marriage..
Winning your divorce is so much more
than winning a divorce case.
Divorce is more than a legal battle.
Divorce is the end of an old life and the beginning of a new life.
How you navigate your way through this will play a large role in how
long it will take you to recover and move on.
I often see people who are so stuck in their marriages and so sad or
angry about it ending that they find it difficult to function properly
in all areas of their lives.
Work becomes a problem. Keeping their mind on the job or taking time
off to do divorce things. People notice and it is yet another area
where they do not feel good about themselves.
People find they feel GUILTY about practically everything while
going through a divorce, especially their children.
Staying strong for children is one of the hardest things you have to
do at this time and should not be undervalued by yourself or anyone
else.
The strain can be debilitating and you need to take time to keep
your own emotions balanced.
WINNING YOUR DIVORCE is more than screwing your spouse in the
settlement, it is more than helping your children, it is more than
getting your feelings back on track, or healing a broken heart, or
getting over your guilt or anger. It is all these things and many
others I haven't mentioned.
You can't win in one area and then be happy; it doesn't work that
way. Divorce is too complicated.
THE IDEA OF A WORKBOOK CAME ABOUT BECAUSE MY CLIENTS FIND IT EASIER
TO 'DO' RATHER THAN BE 'TOLD'.
Once they learn to do a simple action whether it be sticking up for
themselves without getting into a fight or asking the right questions
of their lawyer, THEY FEEL BETTER, and they start to win their
divorce.
Every action we take is dictated by our feelings. We have stored
information that makes us react in every situation. It is why BUTTON
PUSHING is such a great weapon. Your spouse knows exactly what to say
or do to get you to react in the worst possible way, and the worst
thing is you do.
"I am so sad, I can hardly operate, I find it difficult just to get
to work and then I only just get throw the day"
"I cry all the time"
Then there are clients who sit across from me and are so angry that
they can hardly speak. But once they do this is what I hear,
"I can't believe I wasted 15 years of my life trying to make this
work"
"I am angrier than I have every been and don't know what to do with
it"
"I hate her/him"
"I put in everything for this family and he/she just throws it away"
"Why should I give her/him anything?"
"I am going to fight this"
The fight is interesting. What is the fight? What are you fighting
for?
A lot of my clients finally work out that what they are really
fighting for is peace of mind.
Does that come with 'screwing the bastard'?
No.
Does peace of mind happen with more money?
Rarely.
I FIND THAT MOST OF MY CLIENTS FIND PEACE OF MIND WHEN THEY START TO
CONCENTRATE ON THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN ACTIONS. When they learn to
walk into a serious situation and handle it in a way that makes them
proud. That's when they can go home and feel good about themselves.
When I work with clients often it is exactly what is in this
workbook that I discuss with them.
"Sam, I have a meeting with my lawyer on Thursday. How do I get him
to ........"
"Sam, I had a whole day of texting with ex about..... It was awful.
What could I have done differently?"
"Sam, the kids keep repeating stuff that just isn't true. I just
don't know how to counter this. It's like a continual bombardment."
"Sam, I am having trouble at work. I don't know what else I can do.
It's like everything is running together and I can't operate like
before"
"What do I say to.....?"
"How can I.......?"
WHAT DOES WORK AND WHAT YOU CAN START PRACTICING TODAY
Change the way you interact with your spouse.
* Start the separation process with a professional yet polite
distance.
It doesn't matter if you are the one who wants the divorce or not;
just get yourself a bit of distance.
Needless to say, there have already been too many fights, arguments,
disagreements, silences and stand offs that didn't make life easier or
your marriage stronger In fact, they probably only made the break up
inevitable.
Now is the time to explain to your spouse that you will not keep
doing this. Your old relationship is over and you want distance and
respectful communication.
* Then stick to your guns.
Do not respond to any baiting, yelling, rudeness or button pushing.
If your spouse wants to communicate with you they will just have to
change as well.
It is so nice for me when I hear
"I just texted back and said it takes two to fight and if she has
something to ask please email me and I will read it when I get home. I
felt so much better knowing I had the rest of the day without a
fight."
"When I told Bill I wouldn't talk anymore and didn't want to get
into the old fight he was just silent, so I said it might be easier
for him to email me for a while and I would get back when I could.
There was just silence on the other end of the phone; I could almost
hear his brain trying to figure out how to get me yelling. It was
fantastic and I felt in control for the first time in years"
"I just stopped answering........."
"I realize I have been walking around waiting for her to get in
contact with the latest demand and it has been affecting everything in
my life. Now I only answer emails that are relevant and polite."
"Knowing I don't have to fight is wonderful"
"Sam, she just backed down......"
"I don't know why I always thought I had to answer; just saying
'I'll get back to you' gave me space and time to think."
WINNING YOUR DIVORCE
The Win your Divorce Workbook is for everyone so everyone can be a
winner. Winning usually suggests that there is a loser but that is not
what I want to convey.
I believe that everyone can win their divorce and come out stronger
and more capable to find a life that will suit them. Being married to
the wrong person or for the wrong reasons cannot make you truly happy.
Getting a divorce is a scary prospect and can feel like failure but
who is to say what is a success or a failure in your journey? Only
you.
You will find that the workbook is relevant however different
divorce laws may be where you live. The legal areas of this book are
concerned with you getting the most from your legal representation,
making yourself heard and learning to be comfortable in a mediation,
legal office or court environment. The collecting of relevant
information for lawyers or mediators is covered.
Everything else is fundamental to both men and women.
Here's How I Can Help
You Right Now
With Your Divorce
I have written you a workbook so you can be prepared before you go
to specific meetings or make phone calls, pack up your home, talk to
your boss or any of the other daunting prospects divorce brings up.
Over the years I have read and unfortunately bought many books on
divorce. Some are great for certain issues but most are written by
professionals in specific areas and are from a certain point of view.
As I believe divorce is more than one issue I believe what has
always been missing and what is desperately needed is a complete
workbook.
So, I have taken all the strategies that I teach my clients and put
them together into a workbook.
Why a workbook?
Because I believe I could easily write a book telling you what to do
and some of you may actually do a couple of things but not for long
and most of what you read will go out of your head the moment you are
put into an emotional situation, which is most of the time in a
divorce.
A workbook helps you prepare for all those situations before you
find yourself in them. In other words you get to be in control from
thes tart.
Now, you may not need it all so it is really easy to use, especially
since it is on your computer.
You just go to the Chapters at the start of the book, find the
situation you are having issues with and click on that link to take
you to the correct page.
So easy.
I have written this workbook as a tool for you to become stronger
and more in control, so you will be able to move on into a new life
once the divorce process is over, without falling into a heap and
needing another year or two to get over your divorce.
Or worse still need to learn to become single even though that is
exactly what you have been for months or years during the divorce.
The problem with divorce is it can drag on for years and the only
people who are really affected are the people living with it. That is
you, your spouse and your children.
It is up to you to get things moving.
You can download the book right now for only $79.99
Here's How You Can
Start Being In Control Of Your Divorce.
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If you have not purchased this way before, the process takes just a
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Your workbook will become your companion through the different
situations you find yourself in. Simply go to the chapter you need and
work on the issue facing you.
Use the workbook for a while and see how calm and in control you
are.
Don't Decide Yet...
Use Win Your Divorce Risk Free
With a 100% Money Back Guarantee
I know how much you will treasure this workbook when you start to
use it so we happily offer a 100% Money Back Guarantee on the Win Your
Divorce Workbook. Keep the workbook and use the sections you need and
if you don't find you are benefiting from the information then simply
ask for a refund; we will happily refund your money.
Just click on the button below to order your workbook from our
secure order form.
Ebook for $79.99
Join my other happily divorced clients who feel they have won their
divorces.
If you're seriously interested in coming out of your divorce feeling
good about yourself and the way things have gone then get the
workbook.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to get in contact,
Sincerely, Samuel Bertrand Anderson
Divorce Coach and Mentor
P.S. The Win Your Divorce Workbook is an adobe acrobat PDF, which
can be viewed on both Mac and PC.
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