UglyPimp.com - The Official Site of the Ugly Pimp (c)
*
Hi Loser,
Hey, PLEASE don’t get offended that I called you “Loser.”
But, let’s face facts, bro - if you’re reading this, you probably
already put yourself in that category, right? At least when it comes
to women. I know, because I was the biggest Loser of them all.
In High School, when I would actually grow enough of a pair to eye
a hot babe, all I got was penis-shrinking beams of death shooting from
her eyes right back at me.
Yeah. Good times.
I was fat, I had zits, my hair looked like the back of an unwashed
cocker spaniel and I smelled. My prom date? A porn DVD I stole out of
my Dad’s secret stash. At least I saved money on not buying a
corsage.
Think things got better when I got out of school? Oh, absolutely.
When I started losing my hair, boy, I really became Brad Pitt’s main
competition.
NOT.
Want to hear about the time I actually tried to talk to a waitress
at Denny’s? She said I didn’t have to bother tipping her if I
promised never to bother her again. Now that was a Grand Slam to
remember.
That story made the top 10 of what my buddy Dave and I called
“Loser Legends” - our lamest, most pathetic attempts at trying to
pick up woman. Dave was just as chick-repellant as I was – maybe
even more, since he also wore coke-bottle glasses. But at least I had
someone to share my misery with – until Dave dropped out of sight.
At that point, I figured I might as well marry my right hand and
get it over with.
It’s a funny story.
One night, I went into a bar after work, just to get a drink.
Forget about even trying any more lame pick-up attempts. That was
over. Finished.
So I’m sitting there in my sad, pathetic corner, sucking down my
third Jack and Coke and feeling completely sorry for myself, when who
should walk up but my old bud Dave? Except…this was a completely
different Dave. He changed everything up - how he looked and how he
acted.
And the biggest shock? He had TWO hot chicks following him. And
they were FIGHTING for his attention.
WTF????
Dave took one look at me and blew off the two hotties – he said
he could replace them in a New York minute.
He sat down with me at my lonely loser table.
Dave told me what happened.
He told me how he did it.
He did what no guy ever has the brains to do on his own.
He got help.
Dave has these three incredibly hot sisters – no, they never
wanted anything to do with me – and after years of watching their
little bro struggle with the ladies, they finally took pity on him.
They sat him down and offered some sisterly advice so Dave could stop
being a loser, PERMANENTLY.
Dave’s sisters told him EVERYTHING. All the shit about women you
think you’ll never understand? The stuff that pushes their buttons
and gets them to do _PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING YOU WANT THEM TO DO?_ All
the things women _DON’T WANT MEN TO KNOW – BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO
EASY FOR GUYS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM?_
They told him all of it.
And whatever they told him turned Dave into a completely different
person. I mean, he was still Dave. He didn’t have plastic surgery or
anything.
But he did have a new name for himself. He called himself The Ugly
Pimp.
THE UGLY PIMP'S WORDS OF WISDOM:
* It doesn’t matter what you look like.
* It doesn’t matter how much money you have.
* It doesn’t matter how smart you are.
SO WHAT TURNED DAVE INTO THE UGLY PIMP? WHAT DID HE SUDDENLY KNOW
THAT HAD THE SAME WOMEN WHO TREATED HIM LIKE CRAP SUDDENLY BEATING
DOWN HIS DOOR???
This guy was even _MORE_ repulsive than me, and suddenly he had the
secret to getting THE ACTION I ALWAYS DREAMED OF – WITH THE KIND OF
WOMEN I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD HAVE????
Whatever it was, I wanted in on that action.
So Dave spilled. He told me EVERYTHING his sisters told him. Even
the things THEY MADE HIM SWEAR HE WOULDN’T TELL _ANYONE._
_WHAT HE TOLD ME WOULD CHANGE MY LUCK WITH WOMEN…AND MY LIFE…
FOREVER!!!!_
Flash forward to a few days later. I’m back at the same bar. I
pick out the hottest chick in the room. I walk up to her…
…and three hours later, I’m in her apartment.
In bed.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING DAVE TOLD ME WAS TRUE.
_LEARN THE SECRETS THAT WILL GET YOU IN BED WITH A HOT CHICK! CLICK
HERE!!!!_ "I am no longer the lonesome loser. My friends aren’t
laughing at me
anymore, they’re jealous of me and they have no idea how I’m
getting all this action.
And the girls are HOT! Ugly Pimp, you are the MAN."
DAN, ATLANTA "Whoa. I had no idea getting women could be THIS
EASY. I’m way
proud to be part of the Ugly Pimp brotherhood. It doesn’t matter
if my face can stop a
clock – my new Ugly Pimp moves can start up the kind of hot action
I never thought I
could get!"
NIGEL, TORRANCE, CA
Once I’d been rockin’ Dave’s “Ugly Pimp” tricks for a
while, I put my own personal spin on them. And soon, I was doing even
better than my bud! A different woman every night – and they kept
getting hotter.
YEAH, IN ONLY A FEW WEEKS, _I WAS THE GUY IN THE BAR WITH TWO WOMEN
– EVEN THREE OR FOUR – FIGHTING OVER ME!_
LOSERS OF THE WORLD, IT’S TIME TO GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND DO
SOMETHING BEFORE YOU END UP A 40 (OR 50 OR 60…)-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN!
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER BE THE GUY WHO GETS THE GIRL – OR GIRLS –
EVERY TIME, WITHOUT FAIL?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT ALONE?
What? You’re still HERE?
I guess you like spending every Saturday night with your Mom
watching “Murder She Wrote” reruns. Or playing “Halo” in your
bathrobe until your eyes bleed.
Look, just ‘fess up and take the step. I’m doing this just
because I want to help other Losers like Dave helped me.
WHATEVER REJECTION, WHATEVER HUMILIATION, WHATEVER
ASS-HAIR-CURLINGLY-HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE YOU’VE HAD WITH WOMEN, I’VE
BEEN THERE. AND BACK.
TWICE.
So I know the last thing you’re looking for is a list of lame-ass
dating tips like “be confident!” and “Just be Yourself.”
For God’s sake, PLEASE don’t even CONSIDER being yourself. We
all know where that got you.
This is NOT one of those books filled with lame happy
“psych-up” talk. The only psychology we’re dealing with here is
the kind that helps YOU get inside a hot woman’s HEAD.
Not to mention her bed.
The Ugly Pimp teaches you EXACTLY how to do it, by revealing all
the secrets women don’t want you to know.
This is the Mother Lode. The Big Kahuna. The Shit.
These tips WORK on women, because they COME FROM WOMEN.
WHAT DON’T WOMEN WANT YOU TO KNOW? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT…
Let The Ugly Pimp put the power where it belongs – back in YOUR
hands – by telling you EXACTLY…
* What matters to a woman more than looks, brains or money
* How a woman sees you – through THEIR eyes (and believe me,
it’s pretty scary, bro)
* What women really look for in a man.
* Every woman’s secret insecurities – even hot ones!
* How to play on women’s emotions.
* What matters to a woman more than looks, brains or money.
* How to make the kind of conversation that reels a woman in.
* What every woman wishes a man would say to her.
* The Ultimate Ugly Pimp Secret to Seduction Success
Hey, I’m not out to rip you off – that’s not why I wrote the
Ugly Pimp Guide. To prove it, I’m offering a…
Yeah. You got 60 days to get your money back. Two freakin’ months
- and if it takes that long to get your good lovin’ in gear, I’ll
eat my own eBook. Just let me put a little lettuce, tomato and mustard
on it and I’m good.
But I don’t think I’m going to be eating my own words for
din-din. I’ve already sold _TONS OF UGLY PIMP GUIDES_ – and
nobody’s bitching. Read for yourself! "I was dumpy and dorky…and
I resembled an extra from "Revenge of the
Nerds" (those actors looked like freakin’ male models next to
me!). Then I learned how
to be an "Ugly Pimp." I never knew getting women could be so damn
easy! It’s like
riding a bike – once you know how to do it, you never forget!"
NED C., ALLENTOWN, PA "Hey, I hit the wall. "World of Warcraft"
was all the action I ever saw – and
believe me, it wasn’t the kind of action I really wanted. But when
I put the "Ugly Pimp"
program into action, I entered a whole new World of Wild Women –
and that’s the world
I intend to live in for a long, long time."
CARLOS D., BEAUMONT, TX "I looked at other books that promised
every woman would jump in bed
with me. They were complete crap. It took the "Ugly Pimp" to really
jumpstart my sex
life. Thanks, Ugly Pimp. You got it down like nobody else."
FRANK L., EMERSON, NJ "Holy shit. I can’t believe my life. If
this is how amazing an UGLY Pimp
can do, I’d like to see what a GOOD-LOOKING one does! YOU ARE THE
MAN!!!!"
RICH H, OAKLAND, CA
OKAY – LAST CALL!!! You’ve heard from them – now I want to
hear from YOU! Join the Ugly Pimp Army that’s conquering women from
coast to coast!
Remember – this is a DIGITAL PRODUCT. You DOWNLOAD IT AND READ IT
no sweating anyone finding anything in your mailbox!!!
| | | Copyright UglyPimp 2008 (c)
